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It's been awhile

Where to being.... that's where I feel I am in my life riight now.
Where to being? The question I'm always asking myself.
Journal, it's a hard time, and I really only have myself to blame.
Isn't that how it always goes. I am so self destructive, and you could ask me why and I seriously have no words. None.

When things are going good for some reason I am always searching for more, like what I have already isn't enough, when I know deep down it is more than enough and more than I really deserve. But I always find away to fuck it up.

I know, I am leaving this so vague and very open, but I can't write down.. train of thought gone.