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Trailing, train of thought

Boom, just hit with a brilliant idea, I could be a writer. I mean really, how hard is it. You get a good idea, so you go with it.
Ha, you can't be a writer Ashtyn.

I want to start writing again. I want to dive back into something I use to be so passionate about. I miss it...or maybe I just miss the old me. I am too old to go back to dancing, I mean I could still dance, but I want that rush of competition. I could out dancing anytime I wanted too.

I just want to dive into something. Right now I feel like my life has no meaning, no purpose. I am not getting ahead, but then again I am not going backwards... I mean... I am kind of just staying in one spot... no moving. 25 years old and I am at a stand still.

Direction, I need some direction. Guidance. I am hoping 2017 brings a new year... for me I am going to make that change. I've already decided January I am going to start a diet... by diet I mean, cut back on take out food.. fast food mostly. As of this moment, I've cut back sweets.. well pop. Only because I was having horrible skin issues, to soon learn that zinc, zinc was the answer to my prays. So, I started taking a multi-vitamin, zinc pill, and my iron.

So, I've started slowly, I drink more water, more milk, things other then pop. However, I've picked up this coffee kick, some days I can't seem to function without it. This is a completely new thing, before a month ago... coffee was the enemy. Who have I become... an adult !? Uh-oh.

So, back to hoping for directions in the new year. I got a new agenda, going to be on the ball. This year (2016), I've been pretty good. Aylin hasn't missed a trip, a book fair, an important date she has been involved in every fund raiser. However, for some reason I've been falling short with her pizza & sub order days. And we've only missed on snuggle up and read day.. aka last week.. but that was my fault just was thrown off because I had a day off in the middle of the week.

2017, well at least January, I've cut my hours down, not that I work a crazy amount. Just something has placed this weird stress on Aylin. So I made a schedule here's hoping it works. Week one, 5(6)Days, and then week two, 3(4)Days. Hoping this change makes her not so wild. Lately, when I've gone to leave for work, she has been having these crazy melt downs. hiding my coat or my keys so I can't leave making me late... just very odd.

Anyways maybe I don't need to jump back into writing, maybe writing in my journal is all the writing I need. I don't know.

So long for now.
- A xx

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